he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
