omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
