just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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