Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
