Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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