Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
