i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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