at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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