My first STD was from a foam party
If that was your dad, he is hot
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
as a side note pls kill me
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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