...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
