i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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