the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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