This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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