he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
