We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
