i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
