Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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