Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
