"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
