she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
