I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
