it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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