please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
