After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
