hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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