And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
