My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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