I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
