This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
