I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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