Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
