On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So squirting runs in the family.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize
