well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
