You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
