Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
