I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize