the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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