He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
