WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
