Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
