is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
