did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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