My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
