Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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