the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
