You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
