thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
