so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
