I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
