It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
