How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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