The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
