I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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