I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
