we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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