i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
