his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize