Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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