Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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