So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
