I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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