I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
