Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
