Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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