Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
