Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
