Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
