so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
