Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
