why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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