She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
