do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
