careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
