perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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